Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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