and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize