I think I won the penis lottery.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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