her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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