Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
