just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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