I can't watch pbs sober anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Terrible idea I love it
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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