Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
vagina is talking i cant
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
