I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
