i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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