he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
