would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
