New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Two words: nipple clamps
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