The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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