You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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