A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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