Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it's like heaven, but drunker
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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