some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize