whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I can text with my tongue
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
