Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
