I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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