Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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