Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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