There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
