Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
