I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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