M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
