I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
