What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
only you would photoshop your dick
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
