he wants to bone in the snuggie
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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