ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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