question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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