dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
