official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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