i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
