Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
