You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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