I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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