Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
