Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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