I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize