She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
