we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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