i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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