Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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