the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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