Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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