you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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