Kareoke will never be a sober sport
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
