My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
