ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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