Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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