he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
