Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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