shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
