problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
