I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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